Open Your Heart

Certain people could not stand being single and alone. They need to always be in a relationship. So the moment they got over the previous relationship, they start to search for the next one by a certain target date or time frame. It's basically "hunting time".

For me, I've never invested much time in looking for the right guy. In fact, I hardly make any effort! Always passive... Which is no surprise why I've remained single all this time. I mean, I'm not gorgeous, and I don't have that charming persona to attract people to me. Hence, by default, I never get noticed. I need to work extra hard and take on a more active role if I really want to find that guy of my dreams. It means being thick skin and have no fear of rejection.

So I really want to set a target here to make that extra effort. And I have that right song to dedicate to those guys out there to look my way.

Watch Out!

I see you on the street and you walk on by
You make me wanna hang my head down and cry
If you gave me half a chance you'd see
My desire burning inside of me
But you choose to look the other way
I've had to work much harder than this
For something I want don't try to resist me

[Chorus:]
Open your heart to me, baby
I hold the lock and you hold the key
Open your heart to me, darlin'
I'll give you love if you, you turn the key

I think that you're afraid to look in my eyes
You look a little sad boy, I wonder why
I follow you around but you can't see
You're too wrapped up in yourself to notice
So you choose to look the other way
Well, I've got something to say
Don't try to run I can keep up with you
Nothing can stop me from trying, you've got to

[chorus]

Open your heart with the key
One is such a lonely number

Ah, ah, ah, ah
Open your heart, I'll make you love me
It's not that hard, if you just turn the key

Don't try to run I can keep up with you
Nothing can stop me from trying, you've got to

[chorus]

Open your heart with the key

Open your heart, I'll make you love me
It's not that hard, if you just turn the key
[repeat and fade]

Almost Saved

For so many years, I have had countless lectures about how I needed to be saved (the Christian way, of course), by my evangelistic friends, friends of friends, classmates, teachers, relatives, workmates, and even strangers on the street (while I was waiting for a bus!). That constant preaching....

For years, I had attended church services to explore, but Christianity just doesn't seem right for me. It doesn't make sense. (But they will tell you it doesn't have to make any sense. Just have faith!)

There was a time in 1999. I was a young graduate then, at my desk doing my own work. A lady, my boss's friend, was just standing a few feet away from me. She was waiting for my boss who was engaged on the phone.

From the corner of my eyes, I noticed her staring at me. Then she finally opened her mouth to find out what I normally do on weekends and on weeknights.

"Nothing much," I replied. "Why?"

I looked up. The look on her face told me I was such a pitiful soul. I needed to be saved.

"Then you should come to church. Join us, this Sunday?" She cleared her throat.

Her words and her facial expression were akin to the straw that broke the camel's back.

And just like that, instead of being saved the Christian way, I chose to keep my distance.

Enough for now.

Writing on the Wall

"A good bf/gf should empathize with their other half's concerns and not just brush things off because they cannot see gravity of the situation" - WN

This also applies to good/close friends. That's what friends are for.

Very recently, another friend, T, was upset because of the actions of another friend, G. When it was made known, G was concerned and quickly asked to talk and to apologize to T. Although T needed time to cool off and was somewhat evasive in the first couple of days, I was glad that they talked and sorted things out. In a week, all was settled and back to normal.

It didn't really matter who was right or who was wrong because everyone has their own perceptions, but the willingness to talk and reconcile. That alone must mean something.

But what if your "close" friend does not at least empathize with your concerns; and does not want or appear to even talk about it; and if your "close" friend doesn't bother to ask you how you're feeling or what the problem was regardless of who was right or wrong?

What if it took your "close" friend 3 months instead of 1 week to ask you "So I heard you want to talk?" There is an expiration date for everything including the timeframe relationship issues should be resolved.

The writing's on the wall.

Time to move on.

Lunch

Do you know that I could eat even before any food is put on my plate?

For lunch today, as I queued at the local Indian restaurant near my office to pile rice and food on my plate, something caught my eye. I looked up and saw a smartly groomed guy just in front of me. He was a bit on the slim side, but his office attire somewhat just fits him very well. I could see his strong arms exposed from his folded sleeves, and I looked up to see his face... he had a nice side profile.

As I stood there waiting for some space to get the food at the counter, I stripped his clothes off layer by layer and devoured him up with my eyes.

I stared at his face from behind, and suddenly he turned and caught me staring at him and said "Yes? Sorry go ahead," as he made space for me.

I let my gaze lingered on his eyes a little longer than I should before I said my thank yous and looked away at the food counter. Suddenly, I was already half full in the stomach. Yum!

Pleasure Principle

The authorities have been making their rounds to raid and seize shops selling specialty condoms, vibrators and other forms of "sex toys".

Frankly, I don't understand what the big deal is to sensationalize these raids. I think the authorities should channel their efforts and time in rounding up illegal immigrants, reducing piracy and keeping the city, instead of depriving normal folks of some sexual enhancing experience.

What's so lurid about purchasing objects for sexual enhancement for private pleasures?

What's so wrong with wearing a sexy thong, with the help of a little vibrator between consenting adults?

Is sex just all about in and out movement, spew your load in the hope of hitting the jackpot of procreation?

Nobody gets hurt, nothing gets stolen, so why do they always have to dictate what's right and wrong, and what's moral or not, what's sinful or not, for what things that are done behind closed doors?