From A Distance

My heart cried out silently as I watched the unattainable L from a distance once again in the gym today...

I see you in the gym and you walk on by
You make me wanna hang my head down and cry
If you gave me half a chance you'd see
My desire burning inside of me
But you choose to look the other way
I've had to work much harder than this
For something I want don't try to resist me

Open your heart to me, baby
I hold the lock and you hold the key
Open your heart to me, darlin'
I'll give you love if you, you turn the key

Hey you!

Yuks! I absolutely hated it! That new Madonna song, Hey You, is horrendous. Lame! Lame! Lame! For a veteran musician, famous for her ability to reinvent herself creatively, is this the best she could do? Aiyo, this is as bad as her songs from the American Life album.

Rubbish!

Old Goa

Since I don't get to travel much for holidays, I reckon I should show off selected pictures of my work cum holiday trip to Goa, India in February. Haha! Lucky me, due to a lack of domestic flights between Goa and Bombay, I had almost an entire day free in Goa after my audit. What's more, the client paid for the taxi driver to take me around the whole day to visit the Dona Paula, Panaji and Old Goa. In the end I only spent 400 rupees (about RM32) as a customary tip for the driver. The trip would have been better if I had not fallen ill. For days, even before the trip, I had been feeling slightly feverish, and has some problems with my sinus. The pressure buildup in my nasal cavity was horrible!

So what did I see in Goa? Beautiful old city with ruins of Catholic churches built around 1500 - 1650 when the Portuguese arrived in India and colonised Goa. I loved historical sites and have never seen such grand structures in my life!

Panaji: The Church of Immaculate Conception

Old Goa: Basicilia Bom Jesus (Church of Infant Jesus), a World Heritage Site

St. Francis Xavier's casket inside the Church of Infant Jesus. If you looked closely, you can see the body of the good Saint.

Old Goa: Inside the grand Church of St. Francis of Assisi

Inside The Church of St. Francis of Assisi: The wall decorated with paintings.

Old Goa: St. Cajetan Church, apparently modelled after the St. Peter's Church in Rome

Wished I had more time to appreciate every little detail of the intricate and grand architecture. I had always loved old historical sites. Sometimes, I wished I could go back in time for a moment to see and experience what and how life used to be in the past...

The Blind Dating Game

It has been more than 5 months since I met up with any guy from the internet. I haven't been much of an active member in the internet community and I usually only respond/return in kind to people who send me 'hearts'. Due to my extremely limited logon time, the popularity of my personal profile suffered. Very rarely do people chance upon my profile and even rarer would anyone send a sympathetic 'heart'. Well, I don't have the hunk-next-door look; in addition, I suspect that the 'age' factor has further depreciated the value of my profile (and hence my self-marketability). Well, in terms of gay lifetime, once you hit 30, you're as good as finished. Time to retire.

Until recently, two guys visited my profile. 'Hearts' were exchanged and soon enough, both suggested that we meet up. One guy hailed from Cheras (doesn't half the KL gay population live there?); the other closer to home. Cheras guy suggested I come over to Miharja. It is a bit far from where I live, plus I'm not very familiar with that area. Hence, I counter proposed a 'neutral' place midway between my home and his place, KLCC or BB would be the best. He was reluctant to meet in town, and suggested Ampang Point, which is still rather close to his home. Again, it is an unfamiliar place for me to be meeting a stranger at night. I am beginning to sense that he is just plain lazy to travel beyond 5 km from his home. Why the fuck do I have to be the one who has to travel across suburbs just to meet you? You're the Queen of Cheras is it? When I re-proposed KLCC again, his last sms reads: "Sorry, not coming to town. Take care!"
Whatever la... And I am damn sorry too!

As for the other guy, we met up at an agreed familiar and convenient place. But unfortunately, as much as he claims that he is over his ex-BF, it really doesn't appear that he has. I spent like over an hour listening to the details of how and why his relationship failed, and what a loser his ex was... Excuse me, I didn't come to meet up with you to listen to your grudges against your ex. Why he see it fit to share such personal information with me... I certainly could not figure out. But of course, I was as usual, polite, and I sat through it, subtly trying to change the topic by asking other aspects about himself. I soon realized he took little interest in anything else but himself, his work and his ex.

Why do I subject myself to such painful meetings? It's almost always the same situations. This internet/online dating approach hadn't been successful for me the past 6 years, and so why bother anymore?

Blog it!!!

Ok, everyone on earth seems to be blogging on one subject or the other. So I'm just gonna create my own blog too! There are lots of things that I think about and reflect on, especially when I'm driving or when I'm not doing anything that requires my full concentration. I just subconsciously occupy my mind with all sorts of thoughts. But the problem is that every single time I sit down to key in my thoughts, I usually end up staring at the screen... BLANK! Maybe I'm not comfortable or unused to putting my thoughts into proper words on screen.

I had wanted to start this blog with an big bang... to write about the most controversial stuff, or an earth-moving article, but I guess I just have to get comfortable with this routine first. So here goes.... my first post!