I used to think I could be slutty, to "eat out" while seeing someone, but it turns out I'm a loyal person after all. After meeting Bert, I stopped thinking about dark and humid places. In fact, I had wanted to go again (since I have signed up for multiple passes when I first arrived - I signed up cos I thought I will be bored and needed an avenue for some kind of release), but somehow I felt a pang of guilt. In fact, I asked Bert if I could go, so as not to waste those unused passes! Damn, what a waste of money!
Time is running out, as I will be leaving very soon. Although this is the right time to believe in love, I have to be practical about it. In fact, I've been a little too practical since Day 1. As much as I want this to work, the unfortunate circumstances will work against it. I don't know what to do.
Although he didn't say it directly, already, Bert hinted here and there, and I presume he wanted more ... this to go on. Can it?
If only I could be less practical. Perhaps this is not the time for it.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
This Is The Right Time
.
People automatically assume you're "too choosy" if you happen to be single after so many years. In my case, I've never been in any relationship even though I've lived to half my expected lifespan (this is so sad). I've had crushes, flings, chicken and duck relationship .... but nothing serious... nothing intense ... none lasted long enough to be certain that it was really love.
When I shared my frustrations, friends would reply "you have too high QC", "you're too choosy", "you don't make enough effort" etc etc... apparently it was always my fault. Yes, perhaps I didn't make enough effort but I'm generally rather shy and quiet person. But to say that I am "choosy" is absolutely incorrect. I object!!!
Frankly, no one has seriously pursued me for love before. I've never been loved (yes, this is so sad ... again). And over time, I begin to wonder if there was something really wrong with me... perhaps I'm unattractive, perhaps I have bad attitude, perhaps I smell .... why no one interest in me at all? When I look around, even people with horrible behaviour are happily in relationships. Even people who are ugly have beautiful partners. One man's meat is another man's poison.... so there should be some one for me too. I don't have to be a magnet, but I don't want to be a repellent either [I'll blog about my ability to repel people (at least that's what I think) another time la].
That's why I've somewhat given up believing. Trust me, at some point, you don't have any ego or confidence left at all if you keep scoring negatives. A little reassurance will be of great help, to believe in yourself, to believe in love, to believe you have what it takes for someone else to love you.
In the past ten days or so, Bert has given me that little assurance. We've seen each other almost every other day, and in my life I have never felt anything like that since I met him. He makes me feel comfortable. I feel love. This is the right time to believe in love.
(to be continued)
People automatically assume you're "too choosy" if you happen to be single after so many years. In my case, I've never been in any relationship even though I've lived to half my expected lifespan (this is so sad). I've had crushes, flings, chicken and duck relationship .... but nothing serious... nothing intense ... none lasted long enough to be certain that it was really love.
When I shared my frustrations, friends would reply "you have too high QC", "you're too choosy", "you don't make enough effort" etc etc... apparently it was always my fault. Yes, perhaps I didn't make enough effort but I'm generally rather shy and quiet person. But to say that I am "choosy" is absolutely incorrect. I object!!!
Frankly, no one has seriously pursued me for love before. I've never been loved (yes, this is so sad ... again). And over time, I begin to wonder if there was something really wrong with me... perhaps I'm unattractive, perhaps I have bad attitude, perhaps I smell .... why no one interest in me at all? When I look around, even people with horrible behaviour are happily in relationships. Even people who are ugly have beautiful partners. One man's meat is another man's poison.... so there should be some one for me too. I don't have to be a magnet, but I don't want to be a repellent either [I'll blog about my ability to repel people (at least that's what I think) another time la].
That's why I've somewhat given up believing. Trust me, at some point, you don't have any ego or confidence left at all if you keep scoring negatives. A little reassurance will be of great help, to believe in yourself, to believe in love, to believe you have what it takes for someone else to love you.
In the past ten days or so, Bert has given me that little assurance. We've seen each other almost every other day, and in my life I have never felt anything like that since I met him. He makes me feel comfortable. I feel love. This is the right time to believe in love.
(to be continued)
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
For They Have Sinned
So I had several hours of intercourse (ok ... the non-sexual meaning of the word lah! LOL!) with two of the hottest sinful bloggers in the island down south.
First, I messaged Buaya (I won't link his site here, I think he wants to remain as anon as possible :p) via e-mail to ask if he wanna meet up. Naturally, he took all necessary precautions to ensure I was not a fake (I was rather vague about who I was in my first email), and soon we met up two Saturdays ago in Chinatown. Since I had eaten dinner a bit and he hadn't, we went to have some yummy noodles, walked around Chinatown a bit (he pointed out one dark and humid place other than Absolute), then went to McD's for more chit chat.
Then, I sms-ed Sgboy and as I was loitering around (yeah, I was bored to death) the Heeren last Sunday afternoon, he called and said he was able to meet at the cruisy and very gay coffee place there. I last met him briefly at Kylie's concert last November.... and had thought his legs were all tattoo-ed, but his legs this time turned out rather smooth and fairly hairless! No more tattoo??? Apparently, it wasn't tattoo but some kind of design sleeves (forgot what it's called liao) which he slipped onto his calves during Kylie.
So we chatted and chatted. There was this guy reading his bible and making notes seated on the table next to us, just less than 2 feet away. He would have heard everything we said ... all those sinful things. LOL! We weren't shy about it. Sgboy thought he must be also enjoying listening to our conversation. When I went to the toilet, Sgboy observed him praying before he left the table. He must have recited "God, please forgive them, for they have sinned". LOL! LOL!
First, I messaged Buaya (I won't link his site here, I think he wants to remain as anon as possible :p) via e-mail to ask if he wanna meet up. Naturally, he took all necessary precautions to ensure I was not a fake (I was rather vague about who I was in my first email), and soon we met up two Saturdays ago in Chinatown. Since I had eaten dinner a bit and he hadn't, we went to have some yummy noodles, walked around Chinatown a bit (he pointed out one dark and humid place other than Absolute), then went to McD's for more chit chat.
Then, I sms-ed Sgboy and as I was loitering around (yeah, I was bored to death) the Heeren last Sunday afternoon, he called and said he was able to meet at the cruisy and very gay coffee place there. I last met him briefly at Kylie's concert last November.... and had thought his legs were all tattoo-ed, but his legs this time turned out rather smooth and fairly hairless! No more tattoo??? Apparently, it wasn't tattoo but some kind of design sleeves (forgot what it's called liao) which he slipped onto his calves during Kylie.
So we chatted and chatted. There was this guy reading his bible and making notes seated on the table next to us, just less than 2 feet away. He would have heard everything we said ... all those sinful things. LOL! We weren't shy about it. Sgboy thought he must be also enjoying listening to our conversation. When I went to the toilet, Sgboy observed him praying before he left the table. He must have recited "God, please forgive them, for they have sinned". LOL! LOL!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Walk walk here
A couple of weeks ago, I was over-msned. Now, I'm under-blogged. Reason? I'm on a working trip to the fabulous island down below. Clean, neat, tidy, proper, well-planned, and most importantly, a comfortable place to live.
The only thing I have to complain is the use of public transport. Although it's extremely convenient and cheap, you have to do quite a bit of walking to get to the stations and stops. Walk walk walk. Then you hop on. Hop off, then walk walk walk and you arrive at your destination. To go back/home, walk walk walk again. Hop on and Hop off. Walk walk walk. Like OMFG! I've never walked so much in my life!!!! That's why I didn't even go to the gym here. By the time I get to the gym, my legs are tired liao!
The island is full of hot tanned skin boys and men!!! They're like everywhere, and I can't stop drooling. My eyes are tired devouring them up! And of course, the mandatory dark and humid places to visit.
Am arranging to catch up with a few old friends (including Mick, who is now working here, Swanny who's recently gone through a terrible divorce, and Sunshine who seems very happy here), and met up with a new blogger buddy. It's been rather busy and I hope to catch up with a couple more. In the meantime, sweet Bert, whom I met in a dark and humid place, has been keeping me company occasionally, otherwise I'd gotten all lonely and bored here after work.
I don't have convenient internet connection as I am out on site everyday, so I won't have time and energy to blog. But Fable's gonna say it's just all excuses! - afterall he's been hospitalised for so many days and he can still blog!! Wakakaka!
Meanwhile, I'll continue to walk walk here and walk walk there, walk here walk there, everywhere walk walk!
The only thing I have to complain is the use of public transport. Although it's extremely convenient and cheap, you have to do quite a bit of walking to get to the stations and stops. Walk walk walk. Then you hop on. Hop off, then walk walk walk and you arrive at your destination. To go back/home, walk walk walk again. Hop on and Hop off. Walk walk walk. Like OMFG! I've never walked so much in my life!!!! That's why I didn't even go to the gym here. By the time I get to the gym, my legs are tired liao!
The island is full of hot tanned skin boys and men!!! They're like everywhere, and I can't stop drooling. My eyes are tired devouring them up! And of course, the mandatory dark and humid places to visit.
Am arranging to catch up with a few old friends (including Mick, who is now working here, Swanny who's recently gone through a terrible divorce, and Sunshine who seems very happy here), and met up with a new blogger buddy. It's been rather busy and I hope to catch up with a couple more. In the meantime, sweet Bert, whom I met in a dark and humid place, has been keeping me company occasionally, otherwise I'd gotten all lonely and bored here after work.
I don't have convenient internet connection as I am out on site everyday, so I won't have time and energy to blog. But Fable's gonna say it's just all excuses! - afterall he's been hospitalised for so many days and he can still blog!! Wakakaka!
Meanwhile, I'll continue to walk walk here and walk walk there, walk here walk there, everywhere walk walk!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Male Idols
I was never quite interested in sports, but us Malaysian kids, we all watched a game or two of badminton once in a while. I was bored my brains out last weekend so I decided to watch the All-England Open finals with my dad. It was the match between our own "khiap see" player and China's dashing Lin Dan ... no prizes for guessing which fella I supported. :p
Yummilicious Lin Dan. Ain't he cute?? 
I must say that they look much much better on TV than in these still photographs. Looks like I've found my sports and music idols. LOL!
Yummilicious Lin Dan. Ain't he cute?? And tonite, I was drooling over a very cute Top 13 contestant in American Idol, Kris Allen.
I must say that they look much much better on TV than in these still photographs. Looks like I've found my sports and music idols. LOL!
Friday, March 6, 2009
Over MSN-ed
The economy is getting from bad to worse, but the government seem to remain as positive as it could, albeit news of facility shutdowns, employee lay-offs etc etc.
So, I just told a friend that "I am very free during office hours, but I am busy after office hours." Isn't it great to get paid even for doing nothing? So ya think! Not really.... Apart from worrying that prolonged idle time at work will eventually lead to "cost-cutting measures" (I won't say the word here, but you know what I mean), my short-term headache is how to spend 9 hours a day in the office doing nothing!!! There is only this much "self development" (ie. reading up new things to enhance one's skills and knowledge) one can do in a day. I have over-facebooked, and over-emailed. Even I have over-msned the equally restless Jaslene who has complained she's sick and bored of the internet! First it was msn, then we met at gtalk, then back to msn again, then later we chatted in gtalk again. OMG! But thank you Jaslene for saving my days ... all the other msn-ers seem to be quite busy or not logged in. And I think we're also running out of things to chat about! Maybe we should start gossiping about others!
So, I thought I could do some sinning by downloading music, but apparently it hogged the entire bandwidth and my other colleagues have difficulty surfing the net or checking their email, so I have to abandon the plan! Ish!
So, I just told a friend that "I am very free during office hours, but I am busy after office hours." Isn't it great to get paid even for doing nothing? So ya think! Not really.... Apart from worrying that prolonged idle time at work will eventually lead to "cost-cutting measures" (I won't say the word here, but you know what I mean), my short-term headache is how to spend 9 hours a day in the office doing nothing!!! There is only this much "self development" (ie. reading up new things to enhance one's skills and knowledge) one can do in a day. I have over-facebooked, and over-emailed. Even I have over-msned the equally restless Jaslene who has complained she's sick and bored of the internet! First it was msn, then we met at gtalk, then back to msn again, then later we chatted in gtalk again. OMG! But thank you Jaslene for saving my days ... all the other msn-ers seem to be quite busy or not logged in. And I think we're also running out of things to chat about! Maybe we should start gossiping about others!
So, I thought I could do some sinning by downloading music, but apparently it hogged the entire bandwidth and my other colleagues have difficulty surfing the net or checking their email, so I have to abandon the plan! Ish!
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