The gang has identified that the following pairs of dimensions are present to some degree in all gay men. It is important to note that the living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. Hence for this purpose, just like the Myers-Briggs Personality Typing, it is the extremes that are described here.
Active (A) – Passive (P)
Active people make the first move, whether it is sending hearts or messages in web personals, or chatting up the new hot dude in the gym, or pursuing and caressing their hot catch in saunas. In relationships, they initiate activities together and is often the ones who make the effort to get things going and done. Active people are usually outgoing and extroverted.
In contrast, passive people have the “wait and see” attitude, while the whole world passes them by. They observe hot dudes from afar, wishing and fantasizing, but nothing more than that. They wait for other people to make the first move. There is very little initiative. Passive people are usually shy, introverted or have low self-esteem.
In relationships, the ideal pair would be two As or one A and the other P. While it is possible to have two Ps in a pair, they are probably a boring couple. In addition, how do you expect two Ps to hook up if both are waiting for the other to make the first move?
Dominant (D) – Submissive (S)
The dominant person is someone who dominates a conversation or relationship. He makes all decisions for the other party, and is seen by others as the leader (or sometimes in a negative sense, they can be seen as an imposing character).
The submissive person has the “whatever” attitude, usually succumbs to peer pressure and submits to the demands of other more dominant people.
In the bedroom, the dominant person takes the lead and drives the direction of the lovemaking. The submissive person prefers to be told what to do. In more extreme cases like in S&M, the dominant person is like the master, while the submissive person equals the slave.
The D-S dimension, which characterizes the equality (or rather a lack of it) in a relationship between two people, should not be confused with the A-P dimension, which deals with initiative.
Top (T) – Bottom (B)
Well, every gay man is most familiar with the third dimension. In the dark corridors of saunas, as a prelude to any further bodily exploration, gay men whispered in each other’s ear to seek the final clarification before proceeding any further: “U top or bottom?” If you’re into online chats, or have a profile on personals websites, it is always expected of you to identify yourself as either top, bottom or versatile.
Again, like the other dimensions, gay men are characterized anywhere between the two extremes of the T-B dimension as it must be emphasized yet again the continuity of gradations between exclusively top and exclusively bottom. If you are ‘versatile’, think of which roles you most often enjoy. If you’re one of those who consider themselves as ‘neither’ (ie. if you proclaim you don’t do anal), imagine how you might like to be serviced.
Like it or not, there is a rather simplistic notion prevailing among gay men that two tops or two bottoms cannot have a meaningful or satisfying relationship or sex together (well, there’s always the two headed dildos for the two bottoms!). In addition, many gay men are most likely to screen their potential mates using this T-B characteristic in the early stages of their meeting or communication. Hence, you are most likely to benefit from knowing your role if you are to have any chance of success later. Based on the above, it is safe to conclude in general terms that two Ts and two Bs have a lower chance of success (open relationships and sexless relationships precluded) although there are few exceptions to these.
Generous (G) – Selfish (F)
Generosity of a person can be ascertained by way of how much one gives to the other person, in sexual and non-sexual terms. In sexual terms, a selfish person only expects to be serviced and not the other way round. They lie down like a log and let their partner do all the work.
In non-sexual terms, the selfish person only thinks for himself, and is usually stingy (monetary terms).
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Have you ascertained which type are you? Are you type PSTF? ADBG? ASBG?
These classifications have many uses and can often be used to explain, for example, why you still haven’t found the right man for yourself, or why things haven’t quite worked out for you with your man. It is likely due to personality/role clash. For example, how do you realistically make a relationship work if both you and your man are of type PSBF? In this case, both are passive, submissive, bottom (oh no!) and selfish? If this is so, it is time to review the future of the relationship now before anyone gets hurt.
The four dimensions has been adopted in our daily lives to explain why certain relationships did not work out or simply to assess suitability of potential dates. Some of the examples of how the four dimensions is used:
- "I don’t think it’ll work out between us. We’re both SB."
- "He looks shy. He’s probably waiting for you to make the first move la. Go la, you’re the active type ma."
- "You’re such a contradiction! Passive, submissive but top! Difficult to find a suitable mate la."
- "I think he’s too dominant for me. I don’t like to be told what to do."
3 comments:
Hmm..actually these are all very similar to st8 people as well, obviously men are the Top and women bottom, as for active vs passive, dominant vs submissive and generous vs selfish, it applies very much to them as well. so we PLU are not very dif from st8 after all, in these aspects :-)
yes, it applies to everyone. For straight ppl, i suppose traditionally, men are considered as ADT while women are PSB.
For gays, it becomes more interesting as both are male (in varying degrees of course, LOL!). It is somewhat more interesting if not difficult to guess. And the sexual roles as top or bottom (or versatile) also provide another interesting twist to it.
So which type are you, mrs phillippe? Between ASBG and ADBG? :p
But I'm a woman you see LOLOLOL
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