Eating Out II

I was talking to this uncle at Adam Spa this evening. He's 45 years old (OMG... I'm going to be an uncle soon too! Or am I already considered as one?!) and told me he's married with two children, aged 10 and 12. I was curious as to why he visits the men-only spa, and he explained he only discovered he likes boys and men five years ago. Apparently also, if he goes for a massage, he prefers to be touched and massaged by boys than girls.

This is not the first time I've met or known or heard of married men with family who eats out on a regular basis... not women but men!

Those poor wives and children ... how could they do this them? How could they not know they liked boys/men in their younger days? Have they finally surrendered to their true feelings that they have denied or suppressed all the years?

Now, it makes me wonder if straight men could turn gay, then is it possible that one day, I would wake up and find myself attracted to women, breasts and vagina?? Ewww....

Live To Tell

Ally McBeal has always been somewhat introspective and seemed very connected to her emotions. At one time, tired of Ally's complaints, issues and sensitivities, Georgia confronted her.

Georgia: What makes your problems bigger than others'?
Ally (pausing a moment): Hmm... because they're mine.

Sometimes, people just don't really get it when you kicked up a fuss - to them, your issues will always seem as trivial or insignificant. And sometimes, instead of trying to understand the situation, they think they can "solve" your problems or issues as-a-matter-of-factly. Worst, they ditch you, or blame you, and leave you feeling more hurt than before. If you seriously can't identify with the problem, then the least you could do is just shut up and just hear it out, as a "friend".

And don't ever stick that "too sensitive" label, cause if I'm one, then you're the complete opposite - "over insensitive, and cold-hearted". And why is it that a little bit more of sensitivity seemed like a bad thing? Why is sensitivity considered worse than insensitivity?



I have a tale to tell
Sometimes it gets so hard to hide it well
I was not ready for the fall
Too blind to see the writing on the wall

Chorus:
A man can tell a thousand lies
I've learned my lesson well
Hope I live to tell
The secret I have learned, 'till then
It will burn inside of me

I know where beauty lives
I've seen it once, I know the warm she gives
The light that you could never see
It shines inside, you can't take that from me

The truth is never far behind
You kept it hidden well
If I live to tell
The secret I knew then
Will I ever have the chance again?

If I ran away
I'd never have the strength
To go very far
How could they hear the beating of my heart?
Will it grow cold, the secret that I hide?
Will I grow old?
How would they hear?
When would they learn?
How would they know?

*******************
Fun-facts about "Live To Tell":

- Madonna's 3rd No. 1 Single in US
- Only one straight voice recording for the song (ie. demo version) was used as the final cut. Reportedly, the writer/producer said that "her voice in the demo version was so innocent and so shy. It's as naive, as raw, as can be and that's part of what gave it all its charm."
- Song used in the film "At Close Range" starring Madonna's then-husband, Sean Penn.

Eating Out

I was msn-ing a distant old friend the other day, and he recounted how he had hot sex in a public facility with three other guys. It was always nice to be able to chat about people's sexual experience... it's almost like reading porn material, except that you get to ask all the finer details as you wish.

As I got sexcited listening to his public anal conquests, it occurred to me that they probably didn't have any condom on, and so I queried. As expected, none of them had any rubber, but they did the anal thing anyway. His excuse was "it was only a few quick jabs anyway - we didn't have time to do too much la!". But I recalled him mentioning to me he was sore down there as one of the guys poked him quite rough.

And he is still attached to his BF. Obviously he was eating out behind his back... completely unprotected! Suddenly, it wasn't sexciting anymore to listen to his stories. It sends the shivers down my spine, and I didn't want to know any further if he and his BF had theirs done protected or bareback.

It's Not About You, But Me

I confided in Fable Frog a few months back that I had created another anonymous blog... one that I could be brutally honest about what I think and feel about myself and the people I know (and that includes some of you too ... :p ). It's a way of dealing with my own issues, as well as issues that I have with other people and life in general. Well, as someone asked, are all gay bloggers such emotional people?? So much drama and emotions!

But I wasn't particularly good at expressing myself in writing. I have a few emotional and introspective posts in the past... and these posts tend to conceal rather than reveal the real emotions behind it, and readers are often left wondering what I mean to say. Even once, I took the short cut by posting the shortest post ever. And now I have even forgotten myself what the issue or post was all about!

It scares me to open up too much to people I see every other day. Afraid that people will judge me, and have negative perceptions of who I am from what I write.

But the truth is, I did not have any other blog. I was already lazy enough to update this one, I wouldn't have time to manage another one!

I will just post them here instead. I can't be just blogging about me getting caught by police, can I?

And with that, I give myself permission to open up a bit more, to be honest, and to bitch about everything.

Not Again!

Baru masuk the sixth day of CNY, and for the second time in less than 60 days of 2010, I got cruised again by the police!

Very suey la. A stupid client called me on my mobile phone while I was driving mom and dad to Ikea, I just answered the call momentarily to tell him I'm driving (and fuck off), and I was spotted by the police and the roadblock was just 50 m away! Suey boh suey lah!

The first policeman was stern, and said that regardless of how long I was on the phone, it is an offence to even hold the phone whilst driving. My face so masam and I was not in any mood to manja like my first time. I was angry at the client calling me on my day off, and angry at such bad luck this year. Can't manja also la... dad is just beside me! A second policeman came along to take over my case, and I was basically snapping at him when I explained I answered the phone just to tell the idiot to call later.

I knew it was still CNY, so he let me off.

BUT, hmmmm... this is really worrying... kena 'tangkap' so frequently... so bad luck meh? I better not step into any saunas this year (well at least not local ones). Sure kena raid one!